I stared at the ceiling fan going round and round at 3:27 AM. Another sleepless night. The bills were piling up, that weird noise in my car was getting louder, and tomorrow’s meeting with my boss wasn’t going to be pleasant. In those moments, staying positive feels like trying to light a match in a hurricane.
We’ve all been there. Those times when life piles on so many challenges that keeping a positive attitude seems not just difficult but almost offensive. How dare anyone suggest “just think positive” when everything is falling apart?
But here’s what we’ve discovered after years of studying the principles of success: keeping positivity alive during tough times isn’t about fake smiles or pretending problems don’t exist. It’s about something much deeper and more powerful.
When Life Punches You in the Gut
Let’s be real. Sometimes life doesn’t just throw curveballs – it throws the whole baseball machine at you. Job loss, health scares, relationship breakups, financial disasters. These moments test not just our positivity but our entire worldview.
When Sharon lost her mother and her job in the same month, she described it as “drowning on dry land.” The suggestion to “stay positive” felt impossible – even insulting. And that makes perfect sense.
Positivity during crisis isn’t about denying reality or suppressing emotions. That approach backfires spectacularly. Genuine positivity starts with acknowledging exactly where you are.
Feel the pain. Acknowledge the struggle. Cry if you need to.
Then – when you’re ready – ask a different question: “Where’s the opportunity hidden in this mess?”
Napoleon Hill studied successful people for decades and discovered they all shared one critical trait – the ability to find advantage in disaster. Not immediately. Not painlessly. But eventually.
Small Steps When You Can Barely Walk
During our toughest times, trying to keep positivity feels overwhelming. So don’t try to be positive about everything all at once.
Start tiny. Microscopic even.
One morning when I was going through a particularly rough patch (divorce, money problems, health issues – the works), I couldn’t muster positivity about anything. So I started with my coffee. Just appreciating that one cup of coffee. The warmth, the smell, the taste.
That’s it. One positive thought about coffee.
The next day, I found two things to appreciate. My coffee and the brief moment of sunshine through my window.
Little by little, I built what Napoleon Hill calls the “habit of positive thinking.” Not by forcing toxic positivity on myself, but by training my mind to find small points of light in the darkness.
Try this: Find ONE good thing each day, no matter how small. Write it down. Say it out loud. Text it to a friend. Just acknowledge it somehow.
Your Emotional First Aid Kit
Smart travelers pack a first aid kit before heading into unknown territory. But what about an emotional first aid kit for life’s toughest journeys?
Here’s what to pack in yours:
1. A list of your past victories. Times when you overcame something difficult. We tend to forget these exactly when we need to remember them most.
2. Music that lifts your spirit. Science shows music directly impacts our emotional state. Create a “battle playlist” for tough days.
3. Three people you can call who won’t try to fix you – they’ll just listen. Sometimes we need solutions, sometimes we just need someone to witness our struggle.
4. Physical movement options. Even five minutes of movement can shift your brain chemistry. A short walk. Ten jumping jacks. Anything.
5. Questions that redirect your focus: “What’s one small thing I can control right now?” “What might this situation be teaching me?” “How might I use this experience someday to help someone else?”
During one particularly awful Wednesday last summer (car broke down, missed an important meeting, dog got sick – you know those days?), I pulled out my emotional first aid kit. I didn’t magically become ecstatic, but I stopped the downward spiral. Sometimes that’s enough.
The Strange Power of “This, Too”
Two words have gotten me through some impossible situations: “This, too.”
As in: This, too, shall pass. This, too, is teaching me something. This, too, is part of my journey.
When my friend Jake lost his business during the pandemic – his 15-year dream crumbling in months – he started ending each day by writing “This, too” in his journal. Just those two words.
It became a reminder that nothing – good or bad – lasts forever. His difficult situation wasn’t his permanent reality, just his current chapter.
This perspective shift doesn’t deny the challenge. It puts it in context.
The ancient Stoics practiced a meditation called “negative visualization” – briefly imagining losing the things they valued. Not to be morbid, but to appreciate what they had more deeply.
When we recognize that all states are temporary, we can find the strength to keep going. To keep positivity alive not despite our challenges but alongside them.
Feed What Grows
Ever noticed how some people seem to get more bitter with each setback, while others somehow grow more resilient?
The difference often comes down to what they feed their minds during crisis.
Our brains are constantly scanning for evidence. If you believe “everything always goes wrong,” your brain will work overtime finding proof. If you believe “I always find a way through,” your brain will search for evidence of that instead.
During tough times, be extremely selective about:
– Who you talk to (energy vampires vs. energy givers) – What you consume (news, social media, books, podcasts) – The stories you tell yourself and others about what’s happening
When Aron was going through a business failure, he noticed something fascinating. When he told the story as a disaster, he felt worse. When he told it as a learning experience, he felt more hopeful. Same facts, different frame.
This isn’t about lying to yourself. It’s about choosing which aspects of your very real situation to emphasize.
The Most Practical Way to Keep Positivity
Look, all the visualization and affirmations in the world won’t help if you’re exhausted, undernourished, and running on fumes. The most practical positivity tip is often the most overlooked: take care of your physical body.
Sleep deprivation makes everything worse. Poor nutrition affects brain chemistry. Dehydration impacts mood. Lack of movement decreases resilience.
During life’s toughest challenges, your basic physical needs aren’t luxuries – they’re essential survival tools.
When I’m facing a serious challenge, I now know my first step isn’t to “think positive” – it’s to make sure I’m sleeping enough, eating real food, drinking water, and moving my body even a little.
From that foundation, emotional resilience becomes possible.
The habit of keeping positivity alive during tough times doesn’t develop overnight. It’s built through small choices, repeated consistently, especially when we don’t feel like it.
Remember – we’re not aiming for constant happiness. We’re developing the ability to find meaning, opportunity and forward momentum even in our darkest chapters.
Sometimes keeping positivity alive means simply not letting it die completely. A single spark kept protected can reignite when conditions improve.
Keep that spark alive. Your future self will thank you.