I still remember sitting on my bedroom floor last year, surrounded by manifestation journals and self-help books, completely overwhelmed. My mind was racing with negative thoughts I couldn’t shut off. Nothing was working. I’d read about controlling thoughts but actually doing it? Different story entirely.
Most people think thought control means becoming some zen master who never has a negative thought. That’s not it at all. It’s more like learning to drive a car – you don’t stop the road from having curves and potholes, you just get better at steering.
Controling our thoughts isn’t about perfection. It’s about direction. And after years of trial and error (mostly error), we’ve found five techniques that actually work in real life, not just in theory.
Your Brain Is A Wild Puppy
Let’s be honest – our minds are kind of like untrained puppies. They run everywhere, chew things they shouldn’t, and occasionally make a mess on the carpet of our consciousness.
The first step in learning how to control your thoughts is recognizing that this is normal. Your brain generates thousands of thoughts daily – something like 60,000 to 80,000 according to some experts. Many are random, weird, or completely unhelpful.
What we’re doing when we talk about “controlling” thoughts isn’t eliminating them. It’s more about training that puppy where to go and what to focus on.
Start by just watching your thoughts without judgment for a day. Don’t try to change anything yet. Just notice. “Oh, there’s a worry about money.” “There’s that criticism about my appearance again.” “There’s a random thought about what I ate three years ago at that restaurant.”
Becoming aware is the foundation everything else builds on. You can’t redirect something you don’t even notice is happening.
The 10-Second Pause (This Changes Everything)
There’s this tiny gap between when a thought appears and when we fully engage with it. Most people miss it completely.
Some Eastern traditions call this space “the witness” – that part of you that can observe a thought without becoming it. And learning to expand this gap from milliseconds to seconds might be the most powerful mental skill you’ll ever develop.
When a negative or unwanted thought pops up, try this: Take a deep breath and count to ten. During those ten seconds, just watch the thought without fighting it or following it down a rabbit hole.
This tiny pause breaks the automatic pattern. It gives you just enough separation to say, “That’s an interesting thought my brain produced, but I don’t have to go with it.”
Look, I’m not saying this is easy. When I first tried this with my anxiety thoughts, I’d make it to about 3 seconds before I was fully spiraling again. But with practice? That gap grows. And in that gap lives your freedom to choose your mental direction.
Try it with something small first. When you think “I don’t want to exercise today,” pause for ten seconds before automatically agreeing with that thought. Just observe it without acting on it.
Thought Substitution Is Like Mental Judo
Fighting thoughts head-on rarely works. The classic example? Try NOT thinking about a pink elephant right now.
What happened? Exactly. Your mind immediately conjured up that pink elephant.
This is why simply telling yourself “stop thinking negative thoughts” is practically useless. Instead, we need to redirect that mental energy somewhere else.
The trick is substitution, not suppression.
When unwanted thoughts appear, have ready replacements waiting. These should be specific, not generic. Not just “think positive” but actual replacement thoughts:
– Instead of “I always mess things up” → “I’m learning something valuable from this situation” – Instead of “I’ll never have enough money” → “I’m getting better at managing my resources every day” – Instead of “Nobody appreciates me” → “I appreciate my own efforts and growth”
Write these substitutions down somewhere – your phone notes, a small card in your wallet, wherever. Having them ready makes them easier to access when your mind is spinning.
This isn’t about lying to yourself. It’s about choosing which truth you want to focus on. Both the negative and positive thought can contain elements of truth – you get to decide which one deserves your energy.
Environmental Thought Control (Nobody Talks About This)
Something Sharon and I discovered by accident: your physical environment massively impacts your thought patterns.
We were struggling with persistent negative thinking until we realized – duh – we were falling asleep every night watching crime documentaries and waking up immediately checking bad news on our phones.
Your thoughts aren’t generated in a vacuum. They’re responding to inputs.
Try this experiment for three days: drastically change your information diet. No news first thing in the morning. No social media right before bed. No rage-inducing podcasts during your commute.
Instead, deliberately choose inputs that align with your desired thought patterns:
– Morning: Uplifting books, visualization, or guided meditations – Commute: Educational content or music that energizes you – Evening: Conversations or entertainment that leaves you feeling good
Mind you, I’m not suggesting you live in some fantasy bubble ignoring reality. But most of us dramatically underestimate how much our environment programs our default thoughts.
The difference in our thought patterns after just a week of changing these inputs was shocking. We weren’t trying to control thoughts directly – we were changing what was creating them in the first place.
What Are Your Thoughts Even Made Of?
Our thoughts aren’t just words in our heads. They’re full sensory experiences with images, feelings, and internal voices.
Napoleon Hill understood this back in the 1930s. In “Think and Grow Rich,” he explained that thoughts have physical power when they combine with emotion and clear mental pictures.
Want to truly control a thought? Adjust its components:
1. The pictures you see in your mind 2. The internal voice (tone, volume, speed) 3. The physical sensations it creates
Let me give you an example. I used to have this recurring worry about public speaking. When the thought came, I’d see myself freezing on stage, hear my inner critic loudly mocking me, and feel tightness in my chest.
To transform it, I:
– Changed the mental image to me speaking confidently (and made it brighter and larger) – Adjusted my inner voice to sound supportive and calm – Focused on feeling expansion in my chest instead of tightness
This technique feels weird at first. Almost like you’re playing with the mixing board of your thoughts. But it works ridiculously well for persistent thought patterns that haven’t responded to other methods.
Try it with one specific thought that bothers you repeatedly. Don’t judge the process – just experiment with changing these elements and notice what happens.
The Real Secret: Consistency Beats Perfection
Look, controlling your thoughts isn’t something you master in a weekend. It’s a practice, like learning an instrument or a sport.
The people who successfully direct their thoughts aren’t superhuman. They’ve just been consistent with these practices over time. They’ve built mental pathways that eventually become automatic.
Start with just one technique from this article. Apply it to one type of thought pattern for a week. Don’t try to overhaul your entire thinking process overnight.
Remember our wild puppy analogy? You wouldn’t expect a puppy to perfectly follow commands after one training session. You practice consistently, celebrate small wins, and gradually shape the behavior you want.
Your mind works the same way. Be patient with yourself.
Controlling your thoughts isn’t about achieving some perfect mental state. It’s about gradually shifting your mental habits until the thoughts that serve you become your default setting.
Start today with just one small practice. Your future self will thank you for it.