I was cleaning out my desk drawers last Sunday afternoon when I found it – a letter I’d written to myself five years ago about what I thought my purpose in life was. The vision I’d described back then? Becoming a high-powered executive with the corner office and impressive salary.
Reading those words felt like meeting a stranger. The person who wrote that letter wanted status symbols and validation. The person reading it wanted meaning.
Material success is easy to define. A certain income, a nice house, fancy vacations – society gives us these templates. But soul purpose? That’s trickier terrain. It’s the difference between building a perfect-looking life and building one that actually feels right from the inside.
That Nagging Emptiness Isn’t Just You
Many of us have experienced the strange disappointment of getting exactly what we thought we wanted, only to feel… nothing much. Or worse – emptiness. The promotion, the relationship, the achievement that was supposed to make everything click into place somehow didn’t.
This isn’t a personal failing. It’s actually how we’re wired.
Studies in positive psychology consistently show that external achievements provide only temporary happiness spikes before we return to our baseline. Material goals keep moving the target – there’s always a bigger house, a better title, more money.
Meanwhile, your soul purpose runs deeper. It connects to what you’re naturally drawn to when nobody’s watching. The things that make time disappear. The problems you can’t stop thinking about. The work that doesn’t feel like work.
Finding your soul purpose isn’t some mystical journey (though it can involve spiritual elements). It’s actually quite practical – it’s about aligning your outer life with your inner compass.
Excavation Work: Digging Through the “Shoulds”
First thing to understand about how to find your soul purpose: you have to remove the layers of expectations that aren’t truly yours.
Make a list. Write down all the things you think you “should” want or achieve. Career benchmarks, relationship status, financial goals. Now look at each item and ask: “Whose voice is this?”
Is it your parents’ expectation that you follow a certain career path? Society’s definition of success? Your peer group’s values?
Last month, Sharon was working with a client who insisted she wanted to become a high-level corporate attorney. But every time she talked about law school, her energy drained visibly. When asked what she’d do if money and expectations weren’t factors, she immediately lit up talking about teaching literature.
The “should” was her father’s voice. The spark was hers.
This excavation process takes honesty. Real talk – it’s uncomfortable to admit how much of what we pursue isn’t actually coming from our genuine desires.
Uncover Your Pattern of Joy
What makes you lose track of time?
Seriously, what activities make you look up and realize three hours have passed in what felt like minutes? This state – what psychologists call “flow” – is a massive clue to your soul purpose.
Make another list. When have you experienced this timeless absorption? Don’t just list professional activities. Include conversations, hobbies, random interests, things from childhood.
Now look for patterns. It’s rarely the specific activity but what it represents. Maybe you lose yourself in planning events, having deep conversations, solving technical problems, creating art, or researching obscure topics.
One client discovered that his seemingly unrelated interests – coaching little league, mentoring new employees, and volunteering at a crisis hotline – all shared a core element: helping people through transitions. This insight eventually led him to a complete career change into counseling work.
The pattern isn’t always obvious. Sometimes what looks like scattered interests actually points to a cohesive underlying purpose.
When Your Body Knows Before Your Brain Does
Your physical responses don’t lie.
Pay attention to how your body reacts when considering different paths. Energy rising or draining? Shoulders tensing or relaxing? Breath deepening or becoming shallow?
This sounds woo-woo until you try it. Then it’s startlingly clear.
I remember walking through a potential office space for a business venture that looked perfect on paper. Impressive location, good financials. But my stomach was in knots the entire time. I ignored it and pushed forward – and spent the next year in what became the most draining work experience of my life.
Your body knows. Even before your mind can articulate why something doesn’t align with your deeper purpose, your physical responses are sending signals.
Try this quick exercise: Close your eyes. Imagine yourself fully engaged in different potential paths. Notice your physical response to each scenario. Your soul purpose will create expansion, lightness, and energy – even if it also feels challenging.
The path that energizes you even when you think about its difficulties? That’s alignment.
From Vague Yearning to Crystal Clear Vision
Vague: “I want to help people.” Clear: “I want to create accessible financial education tools for single parents.”
Vague: “I want creative fulfillment.” Clear: “I want to write historical fiction that brings forgotten voices to life.”
A soul purpose needs specificity to become actionable. Without clarity, we stay stuck in dreamy dissatisfaction.
Here’s a writing exercise that helps: Write a detailed description of your ideal day five years from now, from morning to night. Not a vacation day – a typical day. What work are you doing? Who are you interacting with? What problems are you solving?
Don’t censor yourself as you write. Let surprising details emerge.
When Sharon did this exercise, she was shocked to find herself writing about teaching large groups and developing programs – things she’d never consciously considered before. Those elements eventually became central to her work.
The specifics matter because they move soul purpose from abstract concept to concrete direction.
The Non-Linear Path of Purposeful Action
Here’s what nobody tells you about finding your soul purpose: it’s not something you figure out intellectually and then execute. It’s something you discover by taking action, then reflecting, then adjusting.
You won’t have 100% clarity before starting. That’s not how it works.
Instead, take purposeful action in the direction of what currently resonates. Each step reveals the next piece of information you need.
Aron’s path to his current work wasn’t a straight line. He tried corporate jobs, entrepreneurial ventures, and creative projects. Each experience – even the misaligned ones – provided crucial information about his true purpose.
Action creates clarity. Not the other way around.
Start small. Volunteer in areas that interest you. Take a class. Have conversations with people doing work that intrigues you. Create a side project.
The universe responds to movement. Sitting still waiting for perfect clarity keeps you stuck.
Why Material Success Still Matters (Just Differently)
Finding your soul purpose doesn’t mean rejecting material success. It means redefining your relationship with it.
Material goals become tools for your purpose rather than the purpose itself. Money provides freedom to pursue meaningful work. Status can amplify your message. Achievement creates platforms for greater impact.
The shift is subtle but profound: from pursuing success to feel fulfilled, to pursuing fulfillment and allowing success to follow.
This ordering makes all the difference.
When your work aligns with your soul purpose, material success often follows anyway – but now it’s the byproduct rather than the goal. And ironically, it’s more likely to come when you’re not desperately chasing it.
Your deepest desires aren’t actually for the trappings of success. They’re for the feelings you think those things will give you: significance, freedom, contribution, growth, connection.
When you pursue those feelings directly through purposeful work, the material stuff sorts itself out.
The Daily Question That Changes Everything
Most people think finding their soul purpose is a one-time revelation. It’s not. It’s a daily practice of alignment.
The simplest way to stay connected to your purpose is asking yourself one question each morning: “What would my highest self do today?”
This cuts through the noise, the shoulds, the distractions.
Some days, the answer might surprise you. It might be to rest instead of hustle. To have a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding. To abandon a project that looks impressive but feels empty.
Your soul purpose evolves as you do. The question keeps you connected to its current expression.
Last week, I found myself dreading a commitment I’d made months ago. When I asked this question, I realized my resistance wasn’t laziness – the commitment no longer aligned with my evolving purpose. I respectfully withdrew and redirected that energy toward work that resonated deeply.
Listen to these daily nudges. They’re showing you the path.
Your soul purpose isn’t something you find once and check off your list. It’s something you align with daily, through countless small choices that add up to a meaningful life.