I spent three entire years of my life doing what everyone else thought I should. Marketing degree, corporate job, sensible apartment, responsible savings account. Checked all the boxes. And I was completely miserable.
Something felt off. Missing. That weird hollow feeling in your chest when you know you’re living someone else’s version of success.
The question kept nagging at me: how to find your purpose as a woman when society has so many pre-written scripts for us? When there are so many “shoulds” and “supposed tos” that get layered on top of what we actually want?
Napoleon Hill’s work changed everything for me. Not because it gave me the answers, but because it gave me permission to look for my own. And that’s what I want to share with you today.
Women’s Purpose: What Napoleon Hill Knew That Others Missed
Napoleon Hill interviewed over 500 of the most successful people of his time. While his language might sound dated today (it was the 1930s, after all), the principles are surprisingly inclusive.
Hill discovered something crucial: purpose isn’t gendered. The fundamental principles for how to find your purpose as a woman are the same as for anyone – with one key difference. Women often face unique cultural and social expectations that can cloud their vision of what they truly want.
Hill wrote: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Not “whatever a man’s mind can conceive” or “except for women.” Just the mind. Your mind.
The first step in finding your purpose is recognizing that you have just as much right to a definite major purpose as anyone else. Full stop.
Desire: The Starting Point of All Purpose (Even When You’re Lost)
Hill believed that burning desire is where all achievement begins. For women learning how to find your purpose, this means getting brutally honest about what YOU want – not what your parents, partner, friends, or society thinks you should want.
Sit with a notebook. Write down what you would do if: – You had $20 million in the bank – You knew you couldn’t fail – Nobody would judge your choices – You had only 5 years left to live
I did this exercise on a Tuesday night after work. Took me three hours because I kept censoring myself. “That’s unrealistic.” “What would people think?” I had to keep crossing out the “reasonable” answers to get to the truth.
Look for patterns in your answers. What themes emerge? What activities make you lose track of time? When do you feel most alive?
These aren’t just fun thought experiments. They’re breadcrumbs leading to your purpose.
Your Unique Genius (It’s Not What You Think)
As women figuring out how to find your purpose, we often discount our natural talents because they come easily to us. “Oh, that? Anyone could do that.”
No. They couldn’t.
Hill observed that successful people leverage their natural abilities. They don’t force themselves into roles that don’t fit.
Think about what people consistently come to you for. What do they say you’re great at? What do you know so much about that you forget others don’t have that knowledge?
Some questions to ask yourself:
1. What problems do I solve easily that others find difficult? 2. When have I been so absorbed in an activity that I lost track of time? 3. What topics make me light up in conversation? 4. What feels like play to me but looks like work to others?
The intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what can support you – that’s the sweet spot where purpose often hides.
The Definite Major Purpose Statement: Your North Star
Once you’ve identified the general direction of your purpose, it’s time to crystallize it. This is where Napoleon Hill’s concept of a Definite Major Purpose becomes your guiding light in learning how to find your purpose as a woman.
A Definite Major Purpose statement has these characteristics: – It’s specific and measurable – It has a deadline – It excites you (maybe even scares you a little) – It benefits others beyond yourself – It aligns with your core values
Mine reads: “By December 31, 2025, I will build a community that helps 10,000 women discover and pursue their unique purpose, creating financial independence and personal fulfillment for themselves and their families.”
Notice it’s not vague. It has numbers. A deadline. And it’s about more than just me.
Your turn. Draft your Definite Major Purpose statement. It won’t be perfect the first time – mine went through 14 revisions. But start somewhere.
The Female Mastermind: Finding Your Purpose Tribe
Here’s something fascinating about Hill’s research that often gets overlooked. He emphasized the power of the “mastermind” – a group of like-minded individuals who support each other’s goals.
For women seeking how to find your purpose, this is absolutely critical. We need other women who get it.
One study showed that women in particular benefit from collaborative environments when pursuing major goals. We’re literally wired for connection, and isolation can derail even the most determined among us.
Find or create a small group of 3-5 women who are also on purpose-finding journeys. Meet regularly. Hold each other accountable. Celebrate wins. Work through challenges.
My group meets every other Wednesday night on Zoom. We start with wins, move to challenges, and end with commitments for the next two weeks. Simple but incredibly powerful.
When one woman sees another stepping fully into her purpose, it creates a permission effect that’s contagious in the best possible way.
Persistence Through the Purpose Fog
Learning how to find your purpose as a woman isn’t a one-time exercise. It evolves. Shifts. Deepens.
Hill emphasized persistence as a critical factor in success. The same applies to purpose.
There will be days when your purpose feels clear as a bell. And weeks when you doubt everything. That’s normal. Expected, even.
The key is to keep moving forward, especially on the foggy days.
I keep a “purpose evidence journal” where I record moments when I feel aligned with my purpose. A conversation that made a difference. A thank you note. A breakthrough. On unclear days, I read through it to remind myself that the fog always clears eventually.
Some practical ways to persist: – Take small daily actions toward your purpose, even if it’s just 15 minutes – Review and revise your Definite Major Purpose statement quarterly – Protect yourself from purpose-draining people and situations – Create visual reminders of your purpose to keep it front of mind
Remember: your purpose isn’t just about what you do. It’s about who you become in the process.
Living Your Purpose (Even When It’s Messy)
The journey of how to find your purpose as a woman doesn’t end with identifying it. That’s just the beginning. The real work is living it daily.
Start with one small action today. Something tiny that moves you in the direction of your purpose. Then do another tomorrow.
Hill would say that these small actions, compounded over time, create the momentum that eventually becomes unstoppable.
Your purpose might not look Instagram-perfect. It might involve detours, false starts, and messy middles. That’s not failure – that’s the actual path.
The women I know who are most fulfilled aren’t the ones with the straightest paths to their purpose. They’re the ones who kept going despite the detours, who adjusted course when needed, who fell down and got back up again.
Finding your purpose isn’t about perfection. It’s about persistence. It’s about taking one more step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.
And here’s what I know for sure: when you commit to finding and living your purpose, the universe has a way of meeting you halfway.
So start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Your purpose is waiting.