I stood in front of my closet at 7:15 am on Monday, completely frozen. Black shoes or brown? Button-up or polo? 20 minutes later, I was still there – late for work and annoyed at myself. Over shoes. Again.
We joke about decision paralysis, but there’s something deeper happening when we can’t choose. When indecision becomes a pattern, it’s not just about what to wear or what to eat for lunch. It ripples into everything.
This week, we’ve been exploring decision-making, and today we’re tackling a question many of us wrestle with: is it bad to be indecisive? The answer isn’t as simple as yes or no.
The Hidden Costs You Don’t Notice
Being indecisive isn’t just frustrating – it’s expensive.
Every minute we spend wavering between options is a minute we’re not moving forward. Think about how many hours you’ve spent scrolling through Netflix without watching anything. Or staring at a menu unable to pick. Or debating whether to send that email.
These small moments add up. A study from Columbia University found that the average person makes about 35,000 decisions every day. Even if indecision affects just 1% of those choices, that’s 350 moments of hesitation daily.
But the biggest cost isn’t time – it’s opportunity. When we can’t decide, we default to doing nothing. And nothing creates nothing.
Undecided about starting that side business? Those who jumped in three years ago have real businesses today. Wavering about investing? The market moved while you thought about it. Hesitating about that conversation? The relationship stayed stuck.
Indecision is a silent dream-killer because it masquerades as prudence.
Wait – Sometimes Slow IS Better
Hold up. This doesn’t mean all fast decisions are good ones.
Some choices genuinely deserve careful thought. Big life decisions about relationships, career paths, or major investments should take time. The problem isn’t taking time to decide – it’s taking time without making progress toward a decision.
There’s actually wisdom in what feels like indecision when it’s actually deep processing. Some people have what psychologists call a deliberative decision-making style. They naturally consider more angles and possibilities before landing on a choice.
This isn’t bad. In fact, for complex problems, this approach often leads to better outcomes.
The key difference? Deliberation has movement. It’s actively working through options. True indecision is circular thinking that creates no forward motion.
So no, being thoughtful isn’t bad. Being stuck is.
Why Are You Really Indecisive?
Let’s get honest about what’s happening under the surface when we can’t decide.
For most of us, chronic indecision isn’t about lacking information. It’s about fear. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of missing out. Fear of responsibility. Fear of failure.
If I don’t decide, I can’t fail. If I don’t choose a path, I can’t choose wrong.
But here’s the twist – not deciding IS deciding. It’s deciding to let circumstances choose for you. It’s deciding to give up your power.
When Napoleon Hill studied successful people for his classic “Think and Grow Rich,” he discovered something fascinating. The ability to make prompt decisions was one of the common traits among those who achieved remarkable success.
Hill wrote that leaders make decisions quickly and change them slowly, while those who struggle make decisions slowly and change them quickly. The difference isn’t in having more information – it’s in having more courage.
The Decision Muscle (and How to Build It)
Decisiveness is a skill, not a personality trait.
Like any muscle, it gets stronger with use. And like any muscle, the growth happens through resistance. The discomfort you feel when making decisions is the resistance that builds strength.
Start with small, low-risk decisions to build momentum:
– Give yourself 30 seconds to pick lunch – Choose workout clothes the night before – Pick the first movie that sounds interesting – Say yes or no to invitations within an hour
The specific decision matters less than practicing the act of deciding. Each choice builds confidence for the next one.
For bigger decisions, try this approach:
1. Set a deadline for when the decision must be made 2. List the minimum information needed (not everything – just the essentials) 3. Identify the worst possible outcome and ask: “Can I live with this?” 4. Make the choice before your deadline
Here’s what most people miss: a “good enough” decision executed fully is better than a “perfect” decision that never happens or happens too late.
And the secret successful people know? Most decisions are reversible. If it doesn’t work, you can adjust course. Very few choices permanently lock your future.
Indecisiveness vs. Intuitive Waiting
Sometimes what feels like indecision is actually your intuition telling you something’s off.
There’s a difference between being unable to choose and having a gut feeling that you shouldn’t choose yet. This is subtle but important.
Real indecisiveness feels anxious, circular, and draining. Intuitive waiting feels calm, patient, and like you’re waiting for something specific.
I remember debating a job offer that looked perfect on paper. Better pay, prestigious company, everything I thought I wanted. But I kept stalling on accepting it. Not from fear – something just felt wrong. Two weeks later, a different opportunity appeared that aligned perfectly with my long-term vision. My hesitation wasn’t indecision – it was intuition.
Listen to that quiet voice. It’s not the loud, anxious one telling you all the things that could go wrong. It’s the calm one that simply knows.
The Forgotten Power of Commitment
The word “decide” comes from Latin roots meaning “to cut off.” To truly decide means cutting off alternatives. Commitment is powerful because it ends the energy drain of considering endless options.
When you fully commit to a path:
– Your brain stops wasting energy on “what ifs” – You discover solutions you wouldn’t see otherwise – You attract people and opportunities aligned with your direction – Your actions gain consistency and momentum
The magic isn’t in making the perfect choice. It’s in making a choice and then putting your full force behind it.
Most of us underestimate how much power lies in commitment itself. We think success comes from choosing correctly, when often it comes from choosing completely.
A partially committed “right” decision often produces worse results than a fully committed “good enough” decision.
Start Somewhere. Adjust As Needed.
So is it bad to be indecisive? In most cases, yes – but not because careful thinking is wrong. It’s because prolonged indecision keeps us stuck in possibility instead of reality.
The people who achieve what they want aren’t necessarily the ones who make perfect decisions. They’re the ones who make decisions and then make them work.
Start viewing decision-making as a practice rather than a test. Each choice builds your capacity for the next one. Each commitment strengthens your ability to follow through.
And remember – the goal isn’t to become someone who decides everything instantly. The goal is to become someone who doesn’t get stuck, who keeps moving forward, who chooses their path rather than waiting for the path to choose them.
Your ability to decide might be the most underrated factor in creating the life you want. Not deciding perfectly – just deciding.